One thing I have noticed about the typical Super Mom stereotype is that she is the momma that can do it all. She has a clean house, clean kids, she is happy all the time and plain perfect. Well, I don't truthfully know anyone like that and I am far from that myself. The house gets trashed, and with 5 kids that can happy quickly ;) My kids get messy, they do love to play outside. I'm not always happy :( and I am far from perfect. Sometimes it feels like a system failure in the house.
When I gave birth to my 4th wonderful child my first supposition that momma was suppose to do it all went out the window and I enlisted the help of my 2 oldest children. My system was failing and I needed their help. Yes, they had always had the jobs of cleaning up their rooms, but reality hit me I needed help. Not only did I need their help, but they need to help.
In my perfect world, in my mind, I should manage my own household myself. I don't need help. It was a weakness to need help. The problem with me doing it all, other than exhausting myself and
making me cranky, was that the kids need to learn. They need to learn how to clean up after themselves and have servant hearts and do these things because one day they will be grownups and have to do it themselves. Momma will no longer be there to do it for them.
So, my wonderful 7 and 5 year old were given light chores to help me out. My oldest started taking out the trash, which sometimes happens multiple times a day. My 5 year old started emptying the dishwasher, which also happens multiple times a day occasionally. It was amazing how much better I felt after giving these responsibilities to the kids. Finally I was starting to accept a new system for our home, one where we all pitched in.
As my family has grown the picture of wife being manager of the home has changed from the maid to the manager of the house. When you go to the store you may see the manager there, but they are not always out front. They are the ones that lay the plan. That is what I am. I am the wife and mommy, but it is my job to lay the plans out for my house so I can keep it organized.
The main thing that I have learned to keep my system failures to a minimum is teaching the kids how to do a job. Previously I mentioned the book, Large Family Logistics. Again I will say this is a must have. Chapter 3 speaks about their family system and I love the way she teaches her kids a new skill.
1. Model it. Truthfully before you do this know exactly what you are expecting your child to do, each step and then show them. You may spend a few days or a week on this step. For us right now I am teaching one of my daughters how to put away clothes. This may not seem like such a big deal, but if I don't show her I end up with 4 shirts flung over a hanger. So, model what you want done and point out the steps you take to get it done. After watching a few times they should get the idea.
2. It's their turn now. Let them do it while you watch. This is the time to point out and correct. Do this for a few days or however long you feel neccesary.
3. Let them do it on their own. When they are done let them tell you and you can check. After doing this some they should be ready for independence.
4. Now they should be ready to take on the task on their own. Continue to check on them periodically so things don't get sloppy, but they now have a new skill.
So, taking out the trash, hanging up clothes,or putting up dishes may not seem like a big deal, but to keep a household running smoothly and prevent system failure, having the kids help out and learning to do it a certain way is big. I know it has helped me greatly.
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